Goodbye to One

I just tucked in my one year old for the last time.  Tomorrow will dawn and a two year old shall arise with the same babbles of mommy and daddy from the confines of his crib.  But it will not be the same as today.  For he shall be two.  And I will never again be the mother of a one year old.

He is my Eli Noel Desrochers.  Named aptly for being the E.N.D. of the Desrochers brothers.  My youngest son.  My final child.  Every milestone is bittersweet for as I celebrate with the others I know I will again participate in such an occasion soon enough with the brother that comes behind.  When I celebrate with Eli I usually do so with misted eyes as I look behind him and realize that this is it.

So tonight, the eve of his second birthday, in a way I mourn.  I mourn all things One.  I bid farewell to first steps.  The way the little guys would be off and toddling and then switch direction with whatever way gravity would sway their motion.  We called it being a bumble bee.  Swirling curly q's to get from point A to point B when a straight line would have been oh so much simpler.

I say goodbye to the Christmas when they figured out that present thing.  The way they learned to tear through the paper.  The big smiles that just the sound of the ripping through the wrappings would bring.  The squeals and squeaks of delight in recognition of a brand spankin new toy.

And I remember the other things that make One special.  First sentences, the way that stringing a few small words together might mean so much more.  Likes and dislikes becoming so much clearer.  Haircuts.  Oh, how torturous first haircuts can be.  But just a few snips and a whole new, cleaned up version of a little boy emerges.  So many things.  So little time.  Memories I will remember in snippets of moments unexpected for the rest of my life.

We look forward to two.  Well, not particularly looking forward to.  But onward we must go.  I hold onto the hope that in the next 365 days Eli will accomplish the greatest of tasks in the life of a mother of four.  He shall be potty trained.  Ending almost a decade of diapering for this stay at home mom.  It is my light at the end of the Terrible Two's Tunnel.

Goodbye One.  You have given me great joys, smiles and memories.  You will be missed.